Trump Misinterprets Blockchain To Be a Physical Object That Could Be Used As a Barrier Between The US and Mexico

WASHINGTON D.C – Amid forceful adversity towards the proposed border wall, the Trump administration has been scrambling for alternative solutions. One such proposal comes straight from the president himself, where sources say he is ‘heavily considering blockchain as a viable alternative’ to the previously assumed brick and mortar […]

Vitalik Buterin To Host New Comedy Talk Show Where He Just Talks Shit To People On Twitter and Humiliates Guests

TORONTO, CANADA –  Though blockchain technology may be reinventing the wheel and revolutionizing existing industries, Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin’s new talk show is certainly not. Imagine a crypto-facing Tosh.0 with esoteric computer science jokes, and an awkward host wearing a variety of unicorn and LOLcat t-shirts. “It’s time […]

Conor McGregor Launches ‘FOOK Coin’ ICO Crowdsale to Fund Future Bail Costs, Floyd Mayweather Invests Before the Whitepaper is Read to Him

DUBLIN, IRELAND – In the wake of recent legal trouble and dissipating relevance in the MMA world, former UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor has been confirmed to have launched his own ICO token sale. The aptly named ‘FOOK Coin’ discretely opened last week at around $1.00/FOOK. As doubt […]

Charlie Lee Lists ‘Copy-Pasting’ Under Skills and Endorsements Section on LinkedIn

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Controversial cryptocurrency icon, Charlie Lee, has left his Litecoin constituents puzzled after his contentious decision to add “Copy-Pasting” to his list of LinkedIn skills. The overwhelming disapproval is a direct reaction from long-time Litecoin evangelists who have feverishly defended criticisms that Litecoin is nothing […]

Semantic Satiation: Roger Ver Seeks Therapy After Saying ‘It’s not Bcash’ So Many Times in a Row That it’s Lost All Meaning to Him

TOKYO – An anonymous tip has disclosed that Bitcoin Cash flag bearer, Roger Ver, has gone to seek psychiatric help following his inability to discern the meaning of the phrase ‘it’s not bcash’ – a common consequence of incessantly repeating a phrase known as semantic satiation. Ver humbly […]

BREAKING: Kucoin Locked in Legal Battle with Struggling Ku-Klux-Klan Owned Blockchain Startup Over Rights to Kucoin Trademark

HONG KONG – Prolific cryptocurrency exchange, Kucoin, is confirmed to be locked in explosive litigation stemming from bold allegations by a white supremacist blockchain startup over claims that Kucoin has illegally trademarked the Kucoin name. The plaintiff (tentatively named KuKoin), asserts that their technology has been in development since […]