SACRAMENTO, CA – It was an average Friday night for patrons at a local pub when regular Robert Mason and his friends took seats at the bar. They ordered their drinks, and proceeded to ignore each other for the majority of the night; glued to their phones and occasionally mumbling something about how the free Wi-Fi sucks.
It wasn’t until around midnight, sources say, after Robert had a few too many drinks that he began loudly preaching to his disinterested group about how they should be investing in crypto.
“I overheard this guy shouting about crypto, and how something called Cardano is undervalued right now,” said local salesman Clint Barkley. “I asked him a few questions about how it works, and he stammered out ‘it’s the decentralized blockchain’. When I asked him if he could explain what the blockchain does, he just scoffed and said it would take too long to explain to me. I think he was pretty drunk, or just didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. Maybe both.”
“Of course I couldn’t explain it to him. The guy was a complete jackass,” said Robert. “He asked me how bitcoin worked. News flash, Einstein – nobody knows how it works. You just put your money in and you’ll have more money later on. It’s not rocket science.”
When asked about Robert’s interest in crypto, his friend Charlie Jensen had this to say.
“Rob literally has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. I know that sounds harsh, but I’ have a masters in compsci and still struggle to understand certain concepts. Whenever he starts trying to shove some coin down my throat, I prod him about the security, developer team, road map, and their code base. It immediately shuts him up, but then he starts linking me all these price predictions from Reddit.”