WASHINGTON D.C – White House insiders have leaked reports of U.S President Donald Trump misinterpreting a bill designed to protect cryptocurrency mining from over-regulation. Trump’s purported understanding of the bill was to mean that coal miners are now protected from regulations that keep them from ‘secretly mining’ coal.
“I’m not sure what benefit he thought ‘secret coal mining’ could possibly have, in any capacity” said an anonymous source. “Am I excited that I can continue my mining operations without fear of government interference? Sure, you know it – thanks a lot, Donny. But I am far less excited knowing that it’s only because we have a president who can’t differentiate between his imagination and literal words on a legislative document. It doesn’t even make any fucking sense! Why not ‘secret truck drivers’ or ‘secret landscapers’ while we’re at it?”
Another anonymous insider had a different take on the matter.
“[redacted] whined to you guys about Trump not reading the bill, didn’t he? Look, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Obama wore a tan suit that one time, and you don’t see me freaking about about it. A tan suit! Hilary? Don’t get me started. Whatever Trump has done, others have done worse. In my book, that excuses any misstep he could possibly make.”
White House Officials declined to comment on the subject except to say,
“We’re not concerned with whether or not mining is protected. We mostly hold ETH, and Casper PoS will be here sooner than you think”