TOKYO – An anonymous tip has disclosed that Bitcoin Cash flag bearer, Roger Ver, has gone to seek psychiatric help following his inability to discern the meaning of the phrase ‘it’s not bcash’ – a common consequence of incessantly repeating a phrase known as semantic satiation. Ver humbly agreed to join us for a Skype interview to discuss his troubles from this recent development.
“I-it’s not… bcash? It’s not b…caaash? Bcash. It isn’t not that? FUCK!,” muttered a clearly defeated Ver. “I’m completely ruined. Now what am I supposed to say next time one of those little fucking idiot calls it ‘bcash’, huh? Ignore them? Grow up and give me a break. I don’t know how I’m expected to continue defending Bitcoin Cash when saying ‘it’s not bcash’ doesn’t even mean anything. It just sounds choppy and meaningless now, like one of Donald Trump’s word-salads.”
Ver was not receptive to the suggestion that perhaps instead of fixating on correcting those who call it ‘bcash’, he should instead stick to arguing the facts about the benefits of Bitcoin Cash.
“Sure, I could easily respond with some metrics about Bitcoin Cash’s larger block sizes, faster transaction times, lower fees, and it’s ability to be used as a tipping mechanism – but that still doesn’t change the fact that they’re calling it fucking Bcash! How will people know to stop doing that if I can’t repeatedly verbalize it and publicly freak out about it?”
Despite a previously honored NDA, Ver’s psychiatrist, Dr. Elijah London, made a brief statement following his decision to drop Ver as a patient.
“Roger clearly has some deep-seeded insecurities about Bitcoin Cash,” said London. “As part of our routine exercises, I recently asked him how he feels when people call it ‘bcash’, and he came completely unglued. He started spitting all over me and throwing furniture, occasionally mumbling about how he was a self made millionaire before getting involved with Bitcoin.”
“I quickly reiterated to him that I wasn’t the one calling it ‘bcash’, that it was simply a situational question about how he feels when it’s said to him by others. At that point his eyes widened, and he began making siren noises, demanding to know how much Blockstream pays me and shouting ‘sheeple alert, sheeple alert’ ar what he thought was a two-way mirror.”
Ver has since been dropped as one of Dr. London’s clients, and spoke on his experience under London’s care.
“As you can tell by all the popped blood vessels in my face and dry mouth, Dr. Dipshit was of no help. I don’t know how much Blockstream is paying him to call it ‘bcash’… but it’s not that.”