DUBLIN, IRELAND – In the wake of recent legal trouble and dissipating relevance in the MMA world, former UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor has been confirmed to have launched his own ICO token sale. The aptly named ‘FOOK Coin’ discretely opened last week at around $1.00/FOOK. As doubt surrounding it’s utility and struggling adoption rates have been called into question, McGregor’s team took it upon themselves to clear things up.
“People can fool themselves into believing that they disapprove of Conor’s antics all they want, but deep down everybody wants more,” said Audie Attar, McGregor’s manager. “This ICO aims to fund Conor’s recklessness going forward. You might be thinking, well can’t he afford this himself? Let’s look at the facts – he’s not fighting anymore, the F.A.S.T program is a complete wash, and short of becoming the Burger King spokesman, his last resort to stay in the spotlight is to keep getting in legal trouble. That doesn’t come cheap.”
Attar addressed the challenges that come with ICO adoption in the US following Google and Facebook’s recent site-wide bans of crypto-facing advertisements. His solution to the problem was more nuanced and calculated than expected.
“After months of negotiation, we were able to pay off an anonymous member of Floyd Mayweather’s management team to constantly boast about the ICO while carefully avoiding the mention of Conor’s involvement. By playing on Floyd’s historically poor investment choices, and spinning the ICO as a ‘sure thing’ by ‘a millionaire in Europe’, our insider was finally able to deliver – Floyd has picked up nearly 200k FOOK at $1.00 per coin.”
Floyd’s hefty investment in the ICO became public knowledge following an arrogant Instagram taunt from McGregor, prompting The HODL Times staff to reach out to Floyd’s team for a statement.
“No, I read it.” Mayweather’s PR team dictated to us for Floyd via email.
UFC President, Dana White, declined to explicitly state whether or not he is personally invested in the token sale.
“What, just because it could be a clever way for me to secretly support the publicity his recent behavior gives the UFC without facing any public backlash, you think I might be involved? So, because I could theoretically keep him on our roster indefinitely without ever scheduling him to fight and reap similar revenue to what his fights brought in, you think I’m complicit? Fuck you.”
White’s Twitter page was later confirmed to have commented on a tweet liking an article entitled – ‘How to Begin Using MetaMask’ – asking if there’s an easier way to participate in ICOs.