SACRAMENTO, CA – While some wildly successful and others nothing more than fleeting money grabs, Bitcoin forks have run rampant in the crypto space within the last few years. As appended words to the Bitcoin name have been scooped up left and right, developers of potential forks aren’t left with much to work with. This rings especially true with recent ‘Bitcoin Polyester’ (BTCPLY) creator, Dennis Kwong.
“You’re god damn right I’m pissed,” shouted Kwong. “I’ve been crafting my implementation for the last few years and as soon as I’m ready to go live, I get screwed on all the names I had lined up. I guess it could be worse. I mean, could you imagine naming your coin something like VeChain? More like VaGine.”
Senior BTCPLY Blockchain Developer, Gus Hammond, commented on the situation by casting doubt on the name’s ability to have them be taken seriously in such a competitive market.
“It’s an unfortunate name, that’s for sure,” Hammond sighed. “I suggested to Dennis that we try out a few other names and see if they stick. Even though he claims to hates the name, he adamantly stated that polyester is the superior fabric type since it doesn’t wrinkle or collect lint. I guess I see how he can make that a parallel to our coin’s attributes, but it doesn’t really make sense to me. It honestly doesn’t even do anything different than Bitcoin except for a feature Dennis calls “Lintrolling”, where our address takes 0.1% of each successful BTCPLY transaction. I think he took the idea from Office Space, now that I think about it.”
Kwong expanded on Hammond’s take of the situation.
“Let me throw a few names out at you: Bitcoin Aluminum – structurally unsound and used to smoke drugs. No. Bitcoin Cedar – literally the worst type of tree. No. Bitcoin Glass – see Bitcoin Aluminum. Are you seeing a pattern? The obvious choice was Bitcoin Polyester given the circumstances.”
“Bitcoin Gold, Bitcoin Dark, Bitcoin Classic, Bitcoin Cash,” Kwong listed off. “I thought of those names years ago. I’m considering suing Roger Ver over the trademark rights to Bitcoin Cash. Everybody’s suing him anyway, I might as well throw my name in the hat and see what happens.”