REDDIT, INTERNET – In light of the January 2018 51% attack on the Ethereum Classic network, an anonymous Reddit user, and purported complete moron, posted to the /r/EthereumClassic subreddit armed with a whole new level of self confirmation bias – this time, in the form of a lengthy write-up outlining why they ‘feel’ that ETC can still overtake ETH. We’ll refer to the user as ‘Myron’.
Although the post reads like nothing more than the desperate scribblings of a sad, broken man deluding himself into thinking he didn’t just watch his life savings dissolve, Myron had this to say in a private message interview.
“I have three words for you fucking heretics: Code. Is. Law.” Myron soberly stated. “There’s not a lot of sacred things left in this crazy world, but Ethereum Classic is one of them – the last flame keeping the fires of blockchain’s core tenants lit. I mean, the only real reason that ETH is worth more than ETC is because that god damn rainman Buterin. Take the Ruskie out of the picture and what does Ethereum have? Cryptokitties and shitty memes.”
A quick search through Myron’s post history lends itself to the conclusion that they have a strong track record of ‘betting on the wrong horse’, so to speak. From frequent activity of /r/SandersForPresident, to a litany of questions on investing forums asking what to do with all of their Radioshack & Blockbuster shares, it’s clear that some cylinders aren’t firing for the user.
Myron was eager to respond to some replies on his post, specifically any asserting that Ethereum Classic is nothing more than an underdeveloped knockoff of Ethereum.
“Ethereum is a centralized hard fork of Ethereum Classic, not the other way around” Myron maintained, “and it’s not fucking a knockoff! Even if it was, what’s wrong with knockoffs? I’ll have you know that my refrigerator at home is literally bursting at the seams with Dr.Thunder and generic Lunchables. After I got my coins double spent in the 51% attack, that’s the only stuff that the food bank I went to had – fortunately for me, those happen to be my favorites. Kinda sucks, but once the ETC devs refund me I’m immediately investing it all right back!”
Despite his proclaimed extensive understanding of the platform, Myron did not appear to know that as a result of ETC’s immutability, the platform’s claim to fame, he will unfortunately not be able to recover his ETC that was double spent during the 51% attack. At press time, his only further comment on the subject was a plea to the ETC dev team in the form of another post on the subreddit.
“Why don’t we just do a hard fork so that we don’t all lose our money? ” he volunteered. “That’s how Bernie would want it.”