In an unanticipated turn of events, renown Reddit /r/bitcoin moderator Theymos has refactored the forum’s heavily disputed ‘no Altcoin discussion’ rule. New modifications to the rule now qualify the mere mention of fiat currency as criteria for an immediate, permanent community ban. Effective immediately, the new rule changes are justified on the grounds that since fiat currency isn’t Bitcoin, it might as well be considered an Altcoin.
Theymos was surprisingly forthcoming when asked to join us for an interview regarding the implementation of such a contentious rule change – more specifically, how he himself is able to be so active in the Bitcoin space while also completely avoiding the mention of fiat in any given situation.
“I’ve personally never spent a dime of my own money on Bitcoin”, Theymos explained. “Both Blockstream and the Bitcoin Core devs send me fixed amounts of BTC that they jokingly call a ‘weekly allowance’ – Luke and the gang are always joshin’ around with me like that”, he nervously chuckled. “That said, I consider fiat currency to be the original Altcoin, and I’m a man of my word. If you’re at all familiar with the subreddit, you’re well aware that Altcoin discussion is an off-topic, ban-worthy offense.”
The moderator was asked to expand on how users in the Bitcoin community are expected to acquire BTC without spending fiat currencies.
“You know, you millennials seem to have a fucking problem with everything. You think that throwing money at a problem is the only way to get shit done. How about you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get your BTC the old fashioned way, like I did – lock a legally binding digital deed to your soul in a Smart Contract and sell it to Blockstream, then simply push whatever narrative they tell you to in exchange for reoccurring payment.”
We reached out to additional members of the moderation team to get their take on the modified rules. BashCo in particular was uncharacteristically upset at the question, accusing our reporter of being a paid BCH shill, and posing that ‘If fiat currencies aren’t for Altcoin scammers, then why does Roger Ver use them?’
The moderator was reminded that The HODL Times has no affiliation with any particular projects or their teams, and that the interview is entirely voluntary.
“I apologize for the outburst, you didn’t deserve that”, BashCo offered. “It’s just that when I first found out that my wife was having an affair with Theymos, things were pretty rough. However, Theymos saw how hurt I was by this – he offered to give me a little bit of his weekly Blockstream allowance and let me stay in the basement of his house until I could get back on my feet. It’s been a pretty sweet deal so far, but I really wish I didn’t have to hear the two of them going at it every night. It doesn’t last too long though, usually about 10 minutes in Theymos will yell ‘I’M ABOUT TO MOON!’, and then things start to simmer down from there.”