Author Archives

Steven C.S

Code, cats, & crypto.

INVESTORS HATE HIM: Sneaky New Speculator Hatches Brilliant Get Rich Quick Scheme to Ask r/CryptoMarkets ‘Which Coins Will Moon or 10x This Year?’

REDDIT, INTERNET – “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before,” a smug looking, self-anointed crypto mogul Kevin Wade bragged. “Instead of wasting my time analyzing market trends, I’ve figured out that all I have to do is ask crypto forums which coins are going to moon […]

iPhone Replacement Screen Sales Surging as a Result of Screen Burn-Ins from Panicking Delta Users Refreshing Every 5 Seconds

Thousands of accounts have recently surfaced regarding  iPhone screens across the globe suffering screen burn-ins as a consequence of Delta users relentlessly refreshing to keep up with their plummeting portfolio values. “We haven’t seen profits like this since we convinced people to buy adapters for headphones” said a […]

BREAKING: Chinese Crypto Influencer Mispronounces Litecoin as “Ritecoin” in Recent Interview, Christian Altcoin Ritecoin Skyrockets – VEN down another 20%

TOKYO – Miscommunication resulting from language barriers has left the crypto world in a frenzy today, as popular Chinese cryptocurrency influencer Wang Chi mispronounced ‘Litecoin’ as ‘Ritecoin’ in a recent bullish interview. LTC price was unaffected by the mix up, while VEN immediately dropped another 20% Following the […]

Michelle Obama to Pioneer MegaBlock-Chain Technology in Misguided Attempt to Make Crypto More Accessible to Children

WASHINGTON D.C – ICOs and crypto-facing startups have surged in popularity over the last year, having piqued the interest of many existing businesses and high-profile individuals. This is no different in the case of Michelle Obama’s new child-friendly blockchain learning initiative, MegaBlock-Chain. “The concept is in it’s infancy […]

BULLISH: Trump Misinterprets Bill Protecting Crypto Mining to Mean that Coal Miners May Continue to ‘Secretly Mine’ Coal – Whatever that Means

WASHINGTON D.C – White House insiders have leaked reports of U.S President Donald Trump misinterpreting a bill designed to protect cryptocurrency mining from over-regulation. Trump’s purported understanding of the bill was to mean that coal miners are now protected from regulations that keep them from ‘secretly mining’ coal. […]