SCOTTSDALE, AZ – The HODL Times investigative team arrived on scene today where local area crypto trader, Todd Campbell, was found in a fit of blind rage attempting to uproot and vandalize a Wells Fargo ATM machine. Witness reports claim that Campbell was attempting to withdraw cash to […]
REDDIT, INTERNET – In light of the January 2019 51% attack on the Ethereum Classic network, a prolific Reddit user posted to the
Research Shows 100% Correlation Between EOS Investors And Guys Who Pull Their Pants Down To Their Ankles To Piss In Public Restrooms
STANFORD, CA – EOS, the contentious blockchain-based dApp development platform is making rounds in the media again, but this time on the shoulders of a groundbreaking
My dear friends, Did you really think that I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in the event I was wrong about a price prediction I made when I was high on mescaline? You fucking
Your family and friends may not understand, but we do. You’re too busy getting in on the ground floor of revolutionary new technologies to hold down some dead-end low-paying job.
INVESTORS HATE HIM: Sneaky New Crypto Investor Hatches Brilliant Get Rich Quick Scheme to Ask r/CryptoMarkets ‘Which Coins Will Moon or 10x This Year?’
REDDIT, INTERNET – “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before,” bragged self-anointed ‘crypto g0d’, 16 year old Kevin Wade. “Instead of wasting my time analyzing market trends,
Opinion: If Men Are Paid So Much More Than Women, How Come My Girlfriend Hasn’t Lost 60% of HER Investments in the Last Three Months?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a progressive guy. I listen to The Joe Rogan Experience and even have a soul patch – but I’m calling bullshit on this whole wage gap narrative. Towards the end of last year, I was on top of the world; my portfolio sitting […]
BREAKING: Chinese Crypto Influencer Mispronounces Litecoin As “Ritecoin” In Bullish Interview, Christian Altcoin Ritecoin Skyrockets – VEN Down Another 20%
TOKYO – Miscommunication resulting from language barriers has left the crypto world in a frenzy today, as popular Chinese cryptocurrency influencer Wang Chi mispronounced ‘Litecoin’ as ‘Ritecoin’ in a recent bullish interview. LTC price was unaffected by the mix up, while VEN immediately dropped another 20% Following the […]
BREAKING: Crypto Trader Stunned When Investing Advice From Unqualified 17 Year Old YouTuber Backfires
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Self described “crypto tycoon” Carter Vir has found himself on the receiving end of an enormous financial loss, one among the thousands of new crypto investors that have fallen victim to taking financial advice from teenage YouTubers. “I… I just don’t know what happened,” Vir […]